The term manscaping might sound like another subterfuge by the opposite gender to coerce us into doing something we don’t want to do. Especially when that something involves a blade and the two most precious items we have. The margins for error here is small, one over zealous stroke and it’s the ‘red wedding’ from Game of Thrones. So before going to war we suggest you have a peek at our tips and tricks. Remember, erring on the side of caution can save you from the Lance Armstrong look.
Where do I start?
Nobody starts running through the jungle slashing and dashing without a plan. Well, maybe they do but that kind of person doesn’t live long so avoid that strategy. Clearing a path to the golden temple is no different it take preparation.
Tip 1- Never multitask your tools
For hygiene reasons you should keep one scissors solely for below the waist missions. Don’t make the mistake of allowing the same scissors end up chopping lettuce of cutting wrapping paper. The unique bacteria and yeast that exist in the loins is not meant to venture to other parts of the body. Have you heard of jock itch or ringworm? You don’t want to and by keeping your tools separate you won’t have to. Before you start using your scissors douche in rubbing alcohol to kill the germs. Any old alcohol will actually do the job here but best to save the vodka for that martini once you’ve freshened up.
Step 1- Jump into the shower
A cold shower will help to loosen the hairs and draw the hair from the follicle. After showering dry your skin dry with a towel, but leave the man zone slightly damp.
Step 2- Exfoliate
As with the face, men’s nether regions also need to be exfoliated before shaving. In this case you need to be extra careful about the oils and creams you use as the skin around the groin is ultra-sensitive. Carcinogens, citrus, fragrances, mineral oil, or any cooling elements like eucalyptus can cause an irritation. It is recommended that you use exfoliators such as jojoba beads or ground walnut as their natural contents are much less likely to react to your sensitive skin.
Step 3- Don’t Lose it all
Stubble is about as short as you should ever go. No women wants the baby boy look or Magic Mike. Razors are the way to go, as often with wet blades you will be left with red bumps and cuts. If you don’t want to look like you’ve had a battle with the lawn mower getting an electric razor is our top tip. Keep a mid priced one like a Philips that you only use on your body. Body trimmers have tailor made trimmer attachments for working around the contours of your body. The ideal length is less than an inch which is enough to feel confident about your body without going for the ten year old look.
Step 4- Pull tight
This might sound painful, but holding your friends tight is what good friends do. Keep the skin taught as around the family jewels the skin is much looser and thinner than anywhere else in your body. You want to feel like you have control and you know where the blade is going. The chance of catching the blade is much higher if you hold the skin less firmly. This is one situation that you want to be in complete control.
Step 5-Start on a high setting
Begin at a high setting and gentle start removing hair. We suggest you either do this in the shower or sit in the bath as the hair has a tendency to go everywhere. Once you have done one round take the setting down a couple of numbers and get a tighter trim.
Should I do my back?
You might have read our article on the worst pain known to man-—i.e the chest wax—and you have no intention of inflicting that pain on yourself, but you want to sort your back out. Our advice is to enlist the help of a close friend perhaps a friend who can keep a secret like Johnny Tightlips from the Simpsons.
“I ain't sayin' nothin'!”
If you really don’t have anyone close enough to help you trim your back hair you think it might be time to take up yoga. In that way you will be limber and flexible enough to do it yourself. If both those options are non-runners for you, embrace the caveman. Just keep the head down when you are visiting the zoo in case they accuse you of a break out.
Manscaping is the guy version of getting cleaned up. Once you are through with it you will have the best of a month feeling more confident and fresh in this intimate area. Think about the different between being clean shaven or well groomed for an interview and turning up with an unkempt look. If you look sharp you feel sharp and the exact same concept can be applied to manscaping. If you are on a first date and you know from head to toe that you are prepared this will play into how confident you are in those nervous first few minutes.